Diet Plan vs. Hungry Man

This happened many years ago.

At the gym.

My instructor said.

"...avoid eating late at night, have your dinner latest by 6 p.m. after workout, by 11 a.m. eat just three slices of bread as breakfast with a small cup of tea, no sugar."

I responded.

"Okay. I can even take just two slices of bread with a bottle of water."

"Good. Do it for one month, you look at yourself in the mirror you will love yourself."

So we continued the workout program.

Past 10 48 a.m. I was done with my program.

When I was about to leave, he said.

"Remember what I told you?"

"Yeah, two slices of bread with a bottle of water for breakfast."

"Yes, no matter how hungry you are just endure it and stick to it. In the afternoon have a small portion of rice or eba for lunch."

"Okay."

"Come back here by 7 a.m. tomorrow."

"Well noted, I am with you."

"Have a good day."

"Enjoy your day, too."

I left, got home, I was so hungry.

I said to myself.

"You sure say I fit chop just two slices of bread and a bottle of water like this so? You sure say this level go fit work?"

I kept my bag in the living room, dashed to the kitchen, put the kettle on the gas ring, made a cup of tea, and served myself two slices of bread.

I finished eating, it was as if the hunger increased.

I shouted.

"Which kin joke be this? Ulcer is real o."

I quickly put the frying pan on fire, add groundnut oil, and fried two eggs with a can of sardine.

Brought out fifteen slices of bread, and pressed the eggs and sardine together on the bread.

Pressed it well, well.

Sat in the kitchen and rushed the food like a hungry hostage.

I flushed it down with a bottle of chilled orange juice.

It was then it dawned on me that this workout thing is not for everybody.

Just then my instructor called me on the phone.

"Hello, Kyrian, how far? Three slices of bread, right?"

"Hello, I no too hear you well? The network is bad."

"Can you hear me now? I said shebi you took only just three slices of bread with a bottle of water for breakfast as I told you?"

It was then I said.

"Bros, let me tell you, reason am two slices of bread make sense to you? That thing wen you talk make sense to you? My doctor said anything wen I dey do for this life make I chop first. Food for belle first, ulcer is not a joke. No vex I just finished one full bread with eggs and sardine, na who dey alive dey go gym, but make we leave am tomorrow, I swear na two slices I go chop..."

Instructor hung up on me in anger.

I nearly died laughing.

.

Chiemelie Kyrian Offor
July 7, 2026